Growing up I witnessed my mom be completely selfless. My brothers and I were the priority and she came last. As I got older I was encouraged to wait till I could be completely selfless before I started to try and have a baby (because my college, retail working self, loved shopping sprees). I thought I understood what selfless was:
I’m not perfect and not completely selfless. I do however put someone before me every second of every day.
I have known that being a mom you have to be selfless, but what I didn’t realize is how my body becomes completely selfless.
Body is now the proud home of a little baby that is literally taking from me to survive!! My body is completely changing in order to be a good host and nurture for a baby.
I didn’t realize how I completely become selfless. I will gladly lay down my life for my son. I will do whatever I can to make sure he is healthy and safe. My body is no longer my little size two body. It is a gift from Jesus that has let me make and grow a baby, then keep him alive with food! I am blown away by how awesome my body is. I love my body so much more now because I’m so proud of what it has accomplished!
I understood the money part and the materialistic part of being selfless, I have learned being a mom every part of me is for my baby. And I know none of this is forever. One day I will stop wearing nursing bras and be able to take medicine for my cold, but until then I fully give myself to my child to help him grow and flourish into his crazy, funny self.
For months now I have wanted to document what I have learned as a mommy. I just haven’t had the time to sit down and write. Instead I have used Instagram as a scrapbook of memories and reminders of what my life is like and what I have learned. So as I am quickly reaching one year of being a mom, I thought I would do a series of what I have learned so far as a mom.
I have a few topics on my list of what I have learned, and in no particular order I want to write about them. Looking at my list it was very easy to decide which one to write about first. The one I learned right away,
That my punctual self will never be on time again and I have to be okay with that.
I sure did set an alarm an extra hour early, packed everything I thought I would need the night before, made sure there was coffee in the house ready to go, and gas in the car. Did not matter if I was going to church or across the state, I was “prepared”.
Ya.. What does that even mean when you are a mom????
You cannot prepare for the wet sheets, messy last minute diaper, last minute change of clothes for the both of you after a leaky diaper or random spit up incident, forget my phone in the house, and/or forget everything else on the table.
No. You cannot be 100% prepared.
I met a new friend when I was a brand new mom. For the life of me I could not get to her at the time we set. Didn’t matter if it was 10am or 1pm. I never made it early let alone five minutes late! I was so discouraged. What a terrible impression I was consistently giving her. I was really hard on myself and tried to leave five minutes before I thought I should so then maybe I would be on time, but then I would be so focused on the time I would forget to change Nathan’s diaper. There was always something that came up to make me late (and sometimes it came up from Nathan’s stomach).
After a couple weeks hanging out with her I told her that I’m not a late person. My history with work, functions, and hang outs, I have a good record of being on time and I felt awful she was always waiting on me. She laughed and told me not to worry, but I still felt bad. Having someone wait on me wasn’t normal for me.
One morning I woke up, had to be somewhere at a certain time and I just sat down and counted to ten. It was all going to be okay. I am learning. I am learning Nathan. I am learning how long it takes him to eat that day, and when he decides to wet the bed. I am not on my way to a job, so if I’m a couple minutes late, then that’s my new normal and I just have to be okay with that.
After months of being the last one to the party, I am now able to be on time some days. It took a lot of months (like 9) to figure out a groove with my new travel buddy. He is always changing and I am always getting a surprise in my day, but I have learned how to be on time, or close to it, again!
I have also learned, and am so thankful for, the grace that people have on you for being a new mom. Even being a mom at all! There is this understanding between moms that comes with just a look telling one another,
“You got this! Rough morning? Us too! No problem, just take a breath!” I feel normal when another mom is late and I have grown to love the stories of why. Babies bring so much color to a conversation and they are so worth being late for!