What I Have Learned As A Mom. Pt. 3

.Six More Things I’ve Learned.

1. I’ve learned so much more about Mary.
Mary is the virgin who gave birth to a King. I know the story in the Bible, I have thought how I would feel being in her shoes as a pregnant virgin. What I never had until I became a mom was the connection with Mary of being a mother.
There is a passion that comes when you deliver your baby. This overwhelming love and protective instinct.
Although the Bible does not talk about the details in Mary’s pregnancy, I’ve just imagined what life was like for her.
Mary carried Jesus in her tummy, felt his kicks and maybe some hiccups, and gave birth to him. She had that overwhelming love for him. She watched as he rolled over and held him as his first tooth came in. He was her baby and she knew she would have to give him up.
Her son died. She watched him grow up and never sin and then watched others be so hurtful and cruel to him. That had to have broke her heart.
I have learned so much about Mary and what type of woman she was. I would hate to see a cut knee on Nathan and she had to see her son be tortured. How absolutely terrible!
I have a new perspective on how strong, loyal, fierce, obedient, loving, and caring Mary was.
2. The fear in love.
I feel like I should have already known this from having my husband be told he shouldn’t be alive at 21. When you love someone, the idea of them being gone is such a painful thought. I remember nights of crying when Caleb was in the hospital. I would give anything to trade places with him, or I would do anything just to have him better. There was fear there.
Now I’m a mom.
This fear has hit me so hard.
What if I lost Nathan?
When Nathan was 5 days old I freaked out that he had a cold sore (which he didn’t) and an article on Google told me a baby died at 11 days old from a cold sore.
I became a hot mess and hysterical.
Caleb told me to go take a nap and calm down because I was so tired and not thinking correctly, and my mom told me it was going to be fine because it was just a sore from breastfeeding.
Well they should have told me about that sore!!
I just remember holding Nathan and praying that God would give me more than 11 days with him. I had this fear that he would be taken from me to soon and I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
As months went by, Ebola became a topic in our country. We were no where near anyone that could have had Ebola but I took Nathan’s temperature every day to make sure he didn’t have a fever, which was the first sign of Ebola, or at least that’s what GMA told me.
I had to do everything in my power to make sure he didn’t get sick or hurt.
So much fear.
Philippians 4:6-7
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for what He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (NLT).
Fear is not of Jesus. It’s not welcome in my home, in my mind, or in my heart. But what I have learned is fear is the devils strongest weapon against me since I have become a mom.
I fight fear daily.
3. I will never be enough for my kids
I am only human.
I am not physically strong, I mean I need help opening a pickle jar.
I am not invincible.
I cannot protect myself from everything, therefore I cannot protect my baby from everything.
I have learned that I am not enough.
If I have this pressure on myself to be all that my child needs then I will fail every time.
God knows what Nathan needs right now and what he will need in the future. God can protect Nathan, heal him, keep him safe, and never fail. I have to give up that control that I am all my child needs.
4. I know my child the best
Although I will never be enough, I do know my child the best.
Doctors can tell me something, friends and family can tell me something else, but in the end I know what’s best and know him the best.
The gut feeling of a maternal instinct is amazing.
Becoming a mom I was so nervous where to put the baby when I had to go to the restroom, then my baby born and I knew what to do.
I still have questions and I don’t admit I know everything, but when it comes to my child, I know what he needs when he makes a certain face, and when he needs a nap by a certain sound. I know him the best and I take that confidence when others come in and want to tell me something different.
Along with knowing your child the best comes another thing I’ve really learned,
5. EVERY kid is different. Every kid.
Comparing is the thief of joy.
When every kid is different then why are you comparing them? We are unique individuals from the second we are created. Some babies move like crazy in the womb. Others are more relaxed. Some have major hiccups, others like to stretch out on one side.
We are different from the moment we are created.
It’s so hard when you are a new mom with lots of other new moms. Especially on social media.
You see their kid doing something and wonder why yours isn’t. You look at the age or the size or what they are learning or what they are eating. You are a new mom so you are trying your best to be the best for your precious baby, and comparing can take over like wild fire.
Put that fire out right away.
You cannot compare.
Each child develops on his or her own time line. I think it is great that we now have doctors and researchers to give us a timeline of when your baby should start to eat solids or wave good-bye, but it is okay if your baby is at a different speed. Do not compare to other babies.
Comparing steals joy, and in this short time you want to keep all the joy that babies bring.
Which leads me to another topic,
6. Time flies
Remember sitting in first period waiting for the final bell to ring and go home? Man how time moved so slowly.
Well now I am a mom and, BAM! Just in a blink of an eye I have an 11 month old.
Wasn’t he just born?
Wasn’t I just crying because I heard him cry for the first time?
Didn’t I just walk in the room to find him in a different spot and had missed him rolling over for the first time?
Didn’t he just crawl?
Now he’s running and saying words.
How did time go so quickly?
I have learned how fast a day goes. And some days I take it minute by minute (those meltdown days where I count to ten, a lot). But in general time flies.
Thank goodness for my handy phone that I can record and capture Nathan at any point of any day. Then I have those memories stored.
Those first giggles and sounds
Those first steps and first foods.
Time flies.
xoxo kymberly

What I Have Learned As A Mom. Pt. 2

.Becoming Selfless.

Growing up I witnessed my mom be completely selfless. My brothers and I were the priority and she came last. As I got older I was encouraged to wait till I could be completely selfless before I started to try and have a baby (because my college, retail working self, loved shopping sprees). I thought I understood what selfless was:

– The baby comes before me in all areas (which seems so logical and normal)
– I will give up my sleep to make sure the baby gets sleep
– I won’t get to eat when ever I want, I’ll eat around the schedule of the baby
– I will willingly give up girls nights and trips because my presence is so important in my kids life
I have selfish moments. I want that new shirt, but obviously a growing boy gets new clothes before me. I long for my expensive Starbucks coffee, and there have been some mornings that I have been in line at Starbucks for that extra shot of help.

I’m not perfect and not completely selfless. I do however put someone before me every second of every day.

I have known that being a mom you have to be selfless, but what I didn’t realize is how my body becomes completely selfless.

My body is not my own.
Let’s start with pregnancy. My
Body is now the proud home of a little baby that is literally taking from me to survive!! My body is completely changing in order to be a good host and nurture for a baby.
Baby is born and I choose to breast feed. Now my body is my child’s food source. I love nursing Nathan. I love the benefits in it for him, I love the bonding that it brings, and I love love love the convenience of not having to pack him food. I didn’t think of all the medication you cannot take when you are sick, or the food that you don’t want to eat because it messes with the milk that in turn messes with his tummy.

I didn’t realize how I completely become selfless. I will gladly lay down my life for my son. I will do whatever I can to make sure he is healthy and safe. My body is no longer my little size two body. It is a gift from Jesus that has let me make and grow a baby, then keep him alive with food! I am blown away by how awesome my body is. I love my body so much more now because I’m so proud of what it has accomplished!

I understood the money part and the materialistic part of being selfless, I have learned being a mom every part of me is for my baby. And I know none of this is forever. One day I will stop wearing nursing bras and be able to take medicine for my cold, but until then I fully give myself to my child to help him grow and flourish into his crazy, funny self.

What blows my mind about becoming selfless is how natural and easy it is. I don’t give a second thought about putting Nathan before me. It’s like a switch flips the second that test tells you, “you’re going to be a mom” and you are all for your baby.
xoxo kymberly

What I Have Learned As A Mom.

.Being Late.

For months now I have wanted to document what I have learned as a mommy. I just haven’t had the time to sit down and write. Instead I have used Instagram as a scrapbook of memories and reminders of what my life is like and what I have learned. So as I am quickly reaching one year of being a mom, I thought I would do a series of what I have learned so far as a mom.

I have a few topics on my list of what I have learned, and in no particular order I want to write about them. Looking at my list it was very easy to decide which one to write about first. The one I learned right away,
That my punctual self will never be on time again and I have to be okay with that.

I sure did set an alarm an extra hour early, packed everything I thought I would need the night before, made sure there was coffee in the house ready to go, and gas in the car. Did not matter if I was going to church or across the state, I was “prepared”.

Well let’s just talked about that word.

Ya.. What does that even mean when you are a mom????

You cannot prepare for the wet sheets, messy last minute diaper, last minute change of clothes for the both of you after a leaky diaper or random spit up incident, forget my phone in the house, and/or forget everything else on the table.

No. You cannot be 100% prepared.

I met a new friend when I was a brand new mom. For the life of me I could not get to her at the time we set. Didn’t matter if it was 10am or 1pm. I never made it early let alone five minutes late! I was so discouraged. What a terrible impression I was consistently giving her. I was really hard on myself and tried to leave five minutes before I thought I should so then maybe I would be on time, but then I would be so focused on the time I would forget to change Nathan’s diaper. There was always something that came up to make me late (and sometimes it came up from Nathan’s stomach).

After a couple weeks hanging out with her I told her that I’m not a late person. My history with work, functions, and hang outs, I have a good record of being on time and I felt awful she was always waiting on me. She laughed and told me not to worry, but I still felt bad. Having someone wait on me wasn’t normal for me.

One morning I woke up, had to be somewhere at a certain time and I just sat down and counted to ten. It was all going to be okay. I am learning. I am learning Nathan. I am learning how long it takes him to eat that day, and when he decides to wet the bed. I am not on my way to a job, so if I’m a couple minutes late, then that’s my new normal and I just have to be okay with that.

After months of being the last one to the party, I am now able to be on time some days. It took a lot of months (like 9) to figure out a groove with my new travel buddy. He is always changing and I am always getting a surprise in my day, but I have learned how to be on time, or close to it, again!

I have also learned, and am so thankful for, the grace that people have on you for being a new mom. Even being a mom at all! There is this understanding between moms that comes with just a look telling one another,
“You got this! Rough morning? Us too! No problem, just take a breath!” I feel normal when another mom is late and I have grown to love the stories of why. Babies bring so much color to a conversation and they are so worth being late for!

xoxo kymberly