Half a decade of marriage. I could just say I’ve been married for five years, but half a decade sounds way cooler!
Today marks five years since Caleb and I stood in front of all our closest friends and family and vowed to one another to choose each other every day. That day was perfect. And yes, we were that awesome couple that got married on 11-11-11! I should really write about that day and what I remember because it was everything I dreamed it would be. But since that day, life has not been perfect but it’s been rewarding.
Marriage is hard. Hard work! Every person is unique, then stick them in a marriage and you learn a lot. So I thought I would go over some of what I have learned the last half a decade of being married.
1. I’m not awesome. That is probably the biggest thing I’ve learned the last five years. I have issues and I am not perfect. I’m hard to live with, I’m a perfectionist and a clean freak and annoying. I’m loved and accepted, but man some times I sit back and think, “I’m really annoying, poor Caleb!” Haha! I can really joke about this, but on a more serious note, marriage is always work. There is always a topic to work on or talk about, and in these times I have learned that I can only grow as a woman and wife.
2. Love and respect. It’s real. Ever read the book love and respect? It’s basically saying that if you respect your husband first he will return that respect and show love in the way you receive love. Ever read 5 love languages? That’s real too! So I have learned that I need to respect Caleb even when he drives me bonkers, and love him the way he feels love, which is quality time and physical touch. My natural way to show love is words of encouragement, but that’s not how Caleb feels loved the most. So I can always work on that.
3. Don’t talk negatively about the others family. This is one my marriage doesn’t really struggle with, but in-laws can annoy you. Parent in-laws, brother-in-laws, sister-in-laws… just don’t speak negatively about them. That will only cause problems.
4. Babies are distracting. I love my kids more than anything on this earth! Man they are amazing! I have a newborn and toddler. Obviously my days are crazy. When Caleb gets home, my newborn needs a diaper change and my toddler won’t stop talking about whatever he is talking about at that moment. I love it. And as much as I love it, it also takes away from having that quality time with my husband. Our babies are dependent on us right now, so their needs are urgent and important because we are the only ones that can help them out. They distract us from telling each other about our days or dreams or thoughts. Love them, they are our greatest gifts, we have to work harder at prioritizing time together because of them.
5. People can’t read minds. Therefore, my husband can’t read my mind and I can’t read his mind. We aren’t super heros (although sometimes I feel like I am a super hero being a mom…) so it is really important to communicate what is on our mind. If I don’t tell Caleb he hurt my feelings, he won’t know, could do it again, and it could blow up later because he didn’t know he was doing something that was hurting me. So… communicate.
We have graduated college, gone threw 5 jobs combined, are currently in our 6th home, we have 2 kids, and so many more adventures to go on. It’s been a busy five years!
Overall, in all seriousness I find marriage hard work but so rewarding. I think it’s because I constantly find that I have to work on myself and how to love, and I don’t think anyone likes to admit they aren’t awesome and need to work on things. But then we work on those things and become stronger and better.
In those learning areas, Caleb and I are a great team. I’m really proud at how we work together and communicate about finances, budgets, and goals. We have a lot of strengths as a couple. Caleb knows me better than anyone else. He still chooses me every day. Does little things, like notes or buying me coffee before he heads to work when we pull an all nighter with our vomiting 2 year old. (Other learning points- still date each other and still do the little things! They matter).
Cheers to the next five years! Can’t wait to see where we are then! Maybe Texas! (I really want to move to Texas!)
Happy Anniversary Caleb! Thank you for choosing me, thank you for getting down on one knee with my Tiffany’s ring, letting me plan the wedding of my dreams, and vowing your love to me in front of so many friends and family. I love you. 💗 I don’t know what my life would be like without you, and I truly am grateful for you. Muah!
Disclaimer…. I have a newborn and don’t get much sleep… so if there is a lot of grammar errors, just have grace on me because I’m not proof reading this I’m just going to go to bed!
What have you learned being married?