Growing up I dreamed of being a mom. And not just any mom, a great mom. Going through college I learned from experience how to talk to a child in a loving way. I didn’t want to be “that mom that yelled at her kids” or “that mom whose kids didn’t listen to her”. Well tonight I felt like I had stared to become “that mom”.
I can list all the reasons why my patience is egg shell thin, but those are excuses when I look at them through my sons eyes.
I might be exhausted and don’t know the last time I slept more than 4 hours at a time. I might be frustrated that every time I get my 5 month old to finally nap, my 2 year old yells at her so she wakes up. But those things don’t matter to my two year old when it comes to how I respond to him.
My sister-in-law has a quality that I really admire. It might be silly to someone, but it’s what I admire most in her and strive to achieve. She constantly talks to my niece and nephew in a calm tone, and talks to them or tries to Understand why they are acting the way they are. And today is her birthday, so shout out to her! Happy birthday!!
This past week my voice has gotten louder and the phrase, “go to your room” has come out of my mouth more than I strive for.
Am I a lazy mom?
What has happened to what I’ve strived for?
Why am I getting so frustrated and letting that control my attitude?
Oh. My. Gosh. I’m “that mom”.
I just needed a wake up call. My son is acting out because he wants something. Attention is my guess. His sister was born and for 5 months he hasn’t had me to himself. So soon that is going to change and I’ll take him on some mommy/son dates.
I need to take a breath before I respond to his acting out. I need to ask him why he’s doing what he’s doing. I have been consistent in following through with what I say and winning the battles I choose to fight.
I think today it just hit me that what I’m doing isn’t working. I need to go back and stop using the word no. I need to explain more. Nathan is very smart, he can understand what is needed of him and understand that he needs to be respectful.
Being a mom of 2 little ones is hard. Not because my kids are bad or handfuls, but because my time is never my own and being present with both of them on little sleep is hard.
But I got my wake up call and tomorrow is a new day. I pray Nathan forgives me for not being my best. Time to lower my tone again and communicate with him.
No longer “that mom” that I didn’t want to be.