This last weekend a childhood friend of my husbands died unexpectedly of a heart attack on an airplane at the age of 29.
What. The. Heck.
Friends set up a gofundme account and it has raised over 20,000$! In just 2 days. The paragraphs of writings and photos shared on social media have brought me to complete tears.
He is dancing in heaven for sure, but goodness did his dying leave heartache on earth.
It’s made me think a lot. When I die, will things be written about me like this? Would people come together for a gofundme account to raise money for my family?
My husband wanted to go through yearsbooks tonight to look at memories of him and this friend. So as I sat with him I also went through my yearbooks. I ended up staying up for hours reading what people wrote to me.
So many friends thanked me for being me. For not caring what people thought. For being annoying and crazy haha. For listening and making them laugh.
Every person wrote one or more of those things. Almost all of them said thank you to me for letting them just be themselves around me and not judging them and making them laugh.
I’ve never thought of myself as funny. I find others funny and spent most of my growing up laughing at others. I bruised my ribs from laughing so much one night!
Now, I’m a mom of toddlers, who today lost my mind and yelled at my oldest. And it wasn’t nice. I just snapped. I said I’m sorry and talked to him about how it wasn’t okay what I did and that I yelled at him. But I feel like my days are so hard right now that I’m not laughing every day. I’m making my kids laugh every day, but that deep laugh that used to make me fall over, that is gone in the monotonous work of being a mom of toddlers.
I would however not change where I am at. I love my kids. They definitely make me smile every day and challenge me and teach me. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
But am I affecting any other lives? Does that even matter now? My kids are my legacy. How I raise them. How they are as adults and their strengths. I hope I cheer on who they are individually and that I don’t judge them. And that when they are adults they can be some of my best friends and we can have those good deep belly laughs.
I hope when I die, that I lived this life well like my husbands friend. He lived every day to the fullest and lived it for God. It’s powerful reading the impact he had on others from such a young age.