New Dr. In Texas.

One of our dreams came true this month. We got on an airplane and moved to Texas from California. I love it here! I’ve never chosen where I’ve lived before. I’ve always lived where my dad transferred work to, or where Calebs job is at. But here, I got a say. And I love it. I’ll have to share more later.

Because of the horrible event in loosing my father in law, we pushed our move back a week to be with family longer. This meant also that I was a week further along in my pregnancy. I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal, but I was very wrong.

We flew over when I was 27 weeks along, but didn’t get into our house and get our stuff until I was 28 weeks along. I started calling doctors and found that hey wouldn’t take me because I was either past 20 weeks or past 27 weeks. I was in my third trimester so they couldn’t accept me. I started getting super frustrated about it. Am I supposed to walk into the ER then and have this baby in a couple months???

Finally found another office to call, and they accepted me! Took me two weeks of calling places to find one dr who would take me. There were some about an hour away that said maybe, but my kids couldn’t come with me. Not kids aloud. Well my husband can’t take off 3 hours every other week just for me to go to the dr and him watch the kids. He just started at a new office. I don’t understand how they can have so many rules for a pregnant woman who is trying to seek medical care.

Anyways,

I found a nice doctor. He is the first male doctor I have ever had. I have always picked a female doctor mainly because I want to have someone I can open up with and they know what I am talking about. Men and women are created differently. Men don’t experience the hormones that women do, or the pain of childbirth. So I just felt comfort in knowing my doctor had been in my shoes before.

He was very kind. Over all, the appointment was 2 hours and he shared that I won’t go past my due date for sure. But will probably induce me at 39 weeks. Where was this new when I was having Peyton haha. I wanted her out so so bad and I had to wait till 10 days after 40 weeks.

This baby, I want to not have early. I mean it does help that we could have family here and kind of plan when I’ll be in the hospital. But I don’t want to be induced or experience pitocin again. I listened a lot to how he does things, so my next appointment I think I might ask to not be induced so early. Maybe a day early or two days early. I understand I can’t go past my due date because of how big the baby is getting and they don’t want complications. But my experience with pitocin is already giving me some anxiety thinking I would have to do that again.

With Peyton I didn’t get any pain meds to go along with the pitocin. It was just all around bad. So I’m nervous. And I need to just not think about it any more, so I thought I would blog my thoughts out and try to go to bed!

My next appointment I have an ultrasound and they will let me know if the baby is really measuring big. Today my tummy measurement was a couple days ahead. So not that far off. Just days. That made me feel good. I would love a healthy sized baby that doesn’t effect how I have to give birth. I would baby to just come on the due date, naturally. That’s what I would love.

xoxo kymberly

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Miscarriage. 💔

I had a miscarriage. Man. That is hard to type out. I have been wanting to write about the past couple months but nothing comes out when I sit to do it. 
I found out I was pregnant in August 2017, I lost the baby October 5, 2017. I was 9 weeks along but the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks. 

I am sure I’ll be able to write about it at some point. But then at the same time I have wanted to write about my husbands brain surgeries and I never have been able too. 

Last night something happened and I felt like it is super important for me to write down to remember. 

I was really encouraged. 

One phone call around 8pm from a close friend that didn’t know my thoughts the last week. She just called and chatted then started encouraging me. Knowing I want to be pregnant, she kept encouraging that my 3rd earthly child will be born in his timing. That I can use this time to focus more on the two I have and spend quality time with them to shape and mold them and pour into them. Really focus on what they need and how to parent them each. Trying to find the good in the day is sometimes hard. It’s easy to find good in my overall life. I am a mom of two amazing toddlers, in my eyes, can’t get better than that. But my heart longs for a baby that isn’t here and I still want it here. My focus quickly jumps to that missing child when I’m taking photos of the two on earth with me. “In May, there will not be 3 to take pictures of, still 2”. So I was thankful for an outside light to shine in that I still have important work to do in the time of grieving. 
A couple text messages came later from a different friend. Pouring into me and encouraging me mainly about who I am. The qualities in me that she admires. The strength she sees in me. The fact that she finds me to be a good mom. All things I have heard before but really needed to be reminded of. 

What is God doing right now? A friend that has been in my shoes told me that she can look back and see what God was doing when she lost her baby. There was good in that sad time. I’m trying to see what’s happening. Why did my baby have to leave? What was the bigger picture of that loss? I know I have to wait to see, or maybe I’ll never know. 

What am I supposed to be learning right now? What is this season for? I don’t like it. I want to be almost half way done with my pregnancy. I want to be getting things ready and ordering coming home outfits. 

We weren’t going to find out if it was a boy or girl. We were going to be surprised. But now, all I want to know is if it was a girl or boy. Name the baby. Know the baby or have a dream about the baby. 

I’m really sorry if you have lost a baby. My heart longs for comfort for you. Let me know in the comments if I can pray for you or if you just need to chat. 

xoxo

kymberly 

Baby Girl Name Reveal. 

For those of you who do not know me, I grew up on some sort of sports field. If I wasn’t the one at practice or playing, it was one of my brothers. If it wasn’t one of us kids, we were watching my parents in their softball league. It was just life for me. 

I stopped playing soccer after my Jr. Year in high school. I don’t regret that, but I do wish I tried out for my college team. But oh well and I am getting off topic… 

I married a huge sports fan! Caleb knows so much about so many things. He played sports growing up, but his knowledge of sports and players and stats is what sets him apart from other sports fans. And he doesn’t just love or know about one sport, it’s all sports. 

When we found out I was pregnant we started going over girl names right away. I really wanted Quinn or Kyndal and Caleb wanted Madison after Madison Bumgarner. We didn’t even know we were having a girl, but for 15 weeks I called the baby Quinn and he called it Madison.  

We found out we were actually having a girl and that meant we had to get serious. 

I was feeling discouraged because we both wanted a name so bad. I thought we would never choose. 

Then Caleb picked another sports player name and my heart just knew that was it. 

  
I had Madison Bumgarner or Peyton Manning. 

I chose Peyton. 

I also knew instantly her middle name. This word has meant so much to me in this particular pregnancy for so many reasons. I also want her to have faith in her life always. 

I was sitting at dinner one night and just had this feeling that I should drop my name list, no matter how much I wanted them, and let Caleb choose her name. 

A father/daughter relationship is so special. I want them to have the best relationship possible and I thought it was a special first moment for Caleb to choose her name. This name is after an incredible quarterback, who plays a sport that my husband LOVES. I didn’t know that it would be so rewarding to give up my baby name dreams and allow my daughter to be named after an athlete. 

Peyton Faith is due July 24, 2016. She is measuring two weeks ahead, so I’m praying that means she comes early haha. Cross your fingers for me! 

And a random fact, we decided on the Peyton a couple hours before Peyton Manning announced his retirement! 

xoxo kymberly 

Boy or Girl?! 

  
Two days from being 20 weeks pregnant I got my anatomy ultrasound. I had to drink two water bottles and couldn’t use the restroom for an hour! On top of that, the office was running 15 minutes late! I still feel like that’s terrible. Don’t run ultrasounds with full bladder pregnant women and be behind schedule! But anyways,

I laid on the bed with my head next to the computer screen. I couldn’t see the screen super well, but I was waiting to see a little pee pee. The lady took tons of pictures of the spine and then let me go to the bathroom. 

When I came back in she said we could now find out the gender. As she started the ultrasound again she said, “oh it’s much better to see with your empty bladder!” Are you kidding me??! Don’t say that out loud!! I was just in so much pain and I didn’t even need to be!

I wasn’t even looking at the screen and she said, “it’s a girl!” And I said, “seriously?”. I was in shock. 

The moment I found out I was pregnant I told Caleb it was a girl. I came up with my girl names and that was it. Then around 16 weeks I read my pregnancy weekly journal from Nathan and everything was the same. I instantly then assumed I was wrong and I was having another boy!

I was talking to my best friend one day about having a girl. I was talking myself into having another boy (which I would absolutely love) because I didn’t want to get my hopes up of having a little girl and it never happening. 

I wasn’t ready for the lady to tell me I was having a girl. Four hours later, I’m still in shock and think it’s to good to be true. 

Caleb saw that it was a girl on the screen when the lady was taking pictures of the spine. I however was concentrating on holding my bladder together!

As the appointment went on, for no joke an hour and a half, Caleb and Nathan had left to go walk around and the lady tried to get my precious princess to corporate. The lady needed a profile picture and a belly picture which my little girl was not allowing! 

The lady finally gave up and made me eat some of her sees chocolate to try to get the baby to move around haha. I loved that free chocolate. It totally worked and we got the pictures we needed.

I’m a little nervous for this already stubborn miss! Haha I was cracking up because this appointment for Nathan was maybe a max of 20 minutes! We even had a doctor come in and go over everything with us to tell us all was perfect. This time I have to wait till my regular Doctors appointment for her to let me know if there is any problems. 

I’m having a girl…. 

It hasn’t sank in yet….

I’m very excited and very emotional….

Nothing will take the amazing bond I have with my baby boy away, and the amazing dream of having a little girl can’t be compared to either. 

I feel so lucky to have one of each! 

  
xoxo kymberly